Born Again

Been watching the Mark Ruffalo and Keira Knightley starrer Born Again. So relevant now.

'We take a chance from time to time

And put our necks out on the line

And you have broken every promise that we made

And I have loved you anyway

Took a fine time to leave me hangin' out to dry

Understand now I'm greivin'

So don't you waste my time

Cause you have taken

All the wind out from my sails

And I have loved you just the same

We finally find this

then you're gone

Been chasin' rainbows all along

And you have cursed me

When there's no one left to blame

And I have loved you just the same

And you have broken every single fucking rule

And I have loved you like a fool'

Rolling in the Deep

There are occasions when the emotions over-power you so much that you are lost for words and can't express your feelings clearly. Adele has captured my current feelings in her 'Rolling in Deep' better than I could ever have.

The catchy lyrics and the earth shattering visuals aptly represent the sorrow and anguish of unrequited love and betrayal. 

I am never interested in revenge. In the long run, everybody gets what they deserve - a.k.a Karma. For all those who caused this terrible anguish, there is a special place in hell reserved for you, and it is called late realization. 

Reincarnate.

Dear Diary,

Life hasn't been easy at all, over the last two years. In fact, what I thought would become the wisest decisions of my life have turned out to be (at least for now) huge misfires. Over the last one year, barely a day has gone past when I haven't prayed to god to restore sanity in my life. 

The simple and uneventful life that I had had its own charm; the days were glorious. That doesn't mean I will stick to the past. 

Just like in the past when bad news came in blocks, I have resorted to inward thinking and spirituality. I am taking a deep look at what I was, what I am and what I can be - and oh, it has given me some new lessons.

A few things that I have learned.

• Self Deprecation is not always perceived as strength: The view that only very psychologically strong people can be self deprecating is seldom shared. While you want to be seen as humble and down to earth, other people see it as sign of weakness and take advantage of that. 
• Rationality is a rare thing: Irrationality is a part of human behavior, even when making very important decisions. 
• Different value systems : When people think what they do is right, and when their immediate group validates it, they are impervious to other's opinions and beliefs.
• Human opinions are fickle : Repeating the same lie over and over can change people's opinion, so much so that they will start believing the exact opposite of what they believed in the first place. 
• Everyone has got an opinion: When your life is eventful, and not outwardly positive, everyone has an opinion on what happened and how these could have been avoided. However, people don't realise that the best intentions and best efforts do not always yield good results.

Though things have been hard, I have tried hard not to fall behind in any aspect when compared to my peers... and I must say, I am doing good here. I consider this period as one for deep thoughts and self re-building. For years, I have likened myself to the mythical bird Phoenix - it rises from the ashes of its predecessor...over and over.  This time too, I must.